Dreadbiscuit

this is a test bub

2010-02-23T19:03:00.001-06:00

this is a test with a pic

Dead Blog

2009-07-10T09:02:00.003-05:00

I don't update this blog anymore.

Go to Facebook.

Rabid Cricket

2008-08-05T19:25:00.006-05:00

We were sitting around eating breakfast this morning when we heard a strange noise from the basement. The Miracle Hen suggested that it was probably a cricket and that the cats were playing with it. She left and went to work shortly thereafter, and I went downstairs to check on the cricket. It turned out that the "cricket" was actually a bat, and Sasha was standing over it pawing at it.
The bat wasn't in good shape, so I took it outside and put it out of its misery. You will have to trust me when I say that the bat didn't suffer long once it was under my care, and that on a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being dead and 10 being really dead, the bat is a 10 without question.

Once that was done, I took all of our animals to the vet to get their rabies vaccines. The receptionist burped while checking me in, which I thought was a bit uncouth, but after chatting with her I was pleased to discover that we are related.

Transformation Complete

2008-08-03T20:11:00.000-05:00

I've been away for awhile and this is what I've become.

Bread

2008-04-04T06:58:00.001-05:00

I guess a loaf of bread really shouldn't look like this, but I was pleased with the results. It's not often that I enjoy looking at my food as much as I enjoy eating it.

This loaf was made in a food processor, which is the way to go if you enjoy bread that is insanely easy to make and delicious at the same time.

California

2008-03-29T10:02:00.002-05:00

We just got back from vacation in California. The wine was great and the weather was perfect. Click on the picture above to view a small gallery of photos.

Nature Lovers

2008-03-19T07:52:00.008-05:00

These two love to stare out the window and think about devouring the birds that are hopping about in the sunshine. It makes me happy to see them sharing a common interest.

no comment

2008-01-23T19:28:00.000-06:00

Let's make a big deal out of it, whatever it was.

2007-11-29T05:33:00.001-06:00

I think this picture sums up the differences in our dogs' personalities really well. Guess which one is the drama queen.

Dog Park

2007-09-22T12:20:00.001-05:00

I took this picture at the local dog park yesterday. The dogs love having a place where they can meet other dogs, run around, and go to the bathroom wherever they please. It's a great dog park and you occasionally meet some really nice people there. It's probably one of the best social scenes in town if you have a dog and a place to get a lot of confused stares if you don't.

I like to go in the morning and read while the dogs chase each other around in circles. When they run past the sandy area where I sit, they kick up a nice spray of sand that falls on the pages of my book, perfuming it in a unique and unpleasant way.

Expansion

2007-06-16T08:50:00.000-05:00

In the space of about a month, our family has exploded in size.

wet dog

2007-05-23T21:04:00.000-05:00

I was so happy when I discovered that my dog isn't afraid of water. She just plunged right it. There was one spot along the river that was really nasty and she seemed to love it the most. I guess that's where our opinions about water are different, but I'm ok with that.

It turns out that she isn't afraid of miniature schnauzers either. Here she is smacking my mom's dog, Patch, upside the head with her paw. A lot of great friendships start out this way.

Two Chicks

2007-05-21T20:59:00.001-05:00

I was going out to my car for something today, and I saw these two chicks sitting next to the walk. They were able to fly for a short distance and decided to take off after I snapped a couple of pictures. I was suprised at close I was able to get to them. It's a little disturbing when you consider that my camera must have looked like a big eye from their perspective. I hope they react quicker to the other creatures that live around here.

Sasha hikes and sniffs

2007-05-19T06:46:00.001-05:00

Sasha loves going for walks next to the river and watching the wildlife. She likes all the various scents and seemed particularly enthusiastic about a nice skunk odor that we encountered yesterday. She's less keen on me putting the camera in her face so that I can experiment with the Macro feature. That would probably change in time if she came to associate something positive with having the camera shoved up her nose.

She wasn't a big fan of car rides when we first got her. Maybe she just didn't like cars or perhaps the only car ride she had experienced prior to meeting us was that fateful ride that ended with her being left at the animal shelter. I wouldn't like cars either if that's all I had to associate them with.

She has gotten much more enthusiastic about getting in the car lately. I'm actually trying to train her to at least wait until I can put a towel over the back seat before she jumps in. The reason her opinion has changed is probably because she now associates getting in the car with high adventure. We go for hikes, visit my mom and her dog, and just generally go see stuff that she likes. Another plus is that my car smells very interesting.

Sasha

2007-05-15T06:09:00.000-05:00

Sasha came to live with us last week. She was staying at the animal shelter, but I went by and had a chat with her and convinced her that we had better accommodations. She was very nice to us from the start but a bit skeptical. We have petted and fed her to the point that she is no longer skeptical of our intentions, and now her skepticism has been replaced by curiosity. She loves to follow us around and watch whatever we are doing.

Sasha is only three and a half months old, so she really enjoys getting lots of sleep. One of her favorite spots is directly in front of our front door. When she isn't sleeping there she likes to keep an eye on the neighbor's cat. This has become a crucial duty, so we would appreciate any of our friends who would like to come down and relieve Sasha at some point. You can lie in front of our door and watch that cat while Sasha takes a much needed break. Please bring your own chew toy.

Here are some pictures.

Fairshare Mug

2007-05-07T05:58:00.000-05:00

Here is what the GSI Fairshare Mug looks like with 12 oz. of beer in it. I'm doing this as a service to individuals interested in purchasing one of these. This is the first time I've spent $8 for a plastic cup and been satisfied with my purchase.

mow

2007-05-02T06:00:00.000-05:00

There's a nasty rumor going around that I need to mow the lawn. Some have even said that I have neglected my duties. The worst rumor, by far, is that the Rohirrim have been seen riding forth from our lawn.

Merlefest

2007-05-01T06:32:00.000-05:00

Merlefest

Merlefest is a music festival hosted by our local community college. It's generally associated with Bluegrass, but it's really much more than that. I guess Americana or American roots music is the appropriate way to categorize the music played here. Click on the image above to view some of the pictures we took.

We went this weekend and had an absolute blast. I heard Doc Watson, Nitty Gritty Dirt Band, Alison Krauss, and Elvis Costello just to name a few. I'm not a big fan of Elvis Costello, but he was pretty awesome live, or at least the last half of his set was.

John Paul Jones was here as well. He would just pop up randomly and sit in with the musicians and then disappear. It was wild to see the bass player from Led Zeppelin hanging out in an area where I sometimes go jogging (there's a nice one mile track on the college campus).

There's a wine festival here next weekend. It should be pretty cool, but I really wish we could have a moonshine festival. I guess that would be a really bad idea. How about a moonshine and bonfire jumping festival? What could possibly go wrong?

Photos

2007-04-03T06:33:00.000-05:00

I went for a little bike ride on Friday. Check out some of the pictures by clicking on the image below:

Biker Fest 2007

Once the excitement wears off, check these out:

Explosive Stroll

Help>About

2007-03-26T17:44:00.000-05:00

I originally put Linux on my laptop because my machine was old, and I didn't want to pay for an OS that might not work well anyway. I just wanted to be able to surf the web with Firefox and maybe play some tunes. It turns out the Linux doesn't care that my computer is old and let's me do a lot more with it than I would have expected.

That's all great, but what I really like is that I can install programs with names like "Thunar," Check out what you get when you click on Help>About in Thunar:

And look at what you get when you mouse over the awesome Thunar icon:

This is exciting stuff.

When I was in my twenties, I got excited about traveling, girls, hanging out with friends, my future, etc. Now I'm in my thirties and I get excited about things like Thunar. Wow, I've come a long way.

Visitors

2007-03-25T21:30:00.000-05:00

Mr. and Mrs. S visited recently. Here are a few photos I took during our hike on Stone Mountain. I wish I had taken more pictures of our guests.

Mr. S stayed with us for about a week. Both he and Mrs. S have a lifetime pass and can stay at the Dread & Hen estate whenever they want.

Six Deer = Trouble

2007-03-24T13:15:00.000-05:00

We were sitting on the coach this morning drinking coffee and watching Planet of the Apes, when six deer suddenly appeared outside our living room window. They stood in our front yard for a few seconds and seemed to be casing our house. I ran to get the camera, but the deer, sensing what I was up to, moved away to a safe distance where they could observe me without giving me an opportunity to get a clear picture.

I'm not sure what they are planning, but I think the fire hydrant figures into it somehow.

Africa

2007-03-21T21:52:00.000-05:00

I was in a class at work yesterday, and the trainer introduced a scenario for us in which we would play the parts of consultants working on a project for the country of Africa. I wanted to ask if the country of Africa was at war with the country of Asia, but I decided to keep my mouth shut.

NES

2007-03-06T07:10:00.000-06:00

I was at the Goodwill last weekend and I found an old Nintendo wrapped up in a plastic bag. It had two controllers, the light gun, and two games. The power adapter was missing, but I managed to find one around the house that fit. It works perfectly.
I thought it was a cool find, but I have yet to find anyone (other than The Miracle Hen) who shares my enthusiasm.

I'm not sure what happened to the picture above. It wasn't blue when I uploaded it.

..

And now the picture is back to normal. For a brief moment today, that picture was blue.

Grinding Piano of Pain

2007-02-26T07:10:00.000-06:00

Amarok is the best music player I have used to date. It can fetch the Wikipedia entry for the album or artist you are listening to. It also has some great random playlist features.

I can't help but think how much cooler the player would look if I listened to Death Metal.

Car Lot Driveway

2007-02-23T11:05:00.000-06:00

I now own two cheap cars: The Bronco and The Escort. One is good for high adventure of the off-road variety, while the other is good for pure racing excitement. The problem with driving a car like the Escort is that everybody wants to race you. The problem with driving a car like the Bronco is that the high clearance means that friends have a chance of escape when I try to run them over.

back blog back

2007-02-20T07:19:00.000-06:00

We have a new place and a decent internet connection, so updating my blog is no longer the hassle that it was. I was using something called "dialup" for the past couple of months. I think it was developed by the ancient Chinese or something. At any rate, I had to wait three hours just to download the news, and so updating this blog was out of the question. I'm trying to get wireless setup on my prehistoric Mac, so pretty soon I'll be able to update this blog from anywhere in the house. You can read the posts and say to yourself, "Damn, he must have been in the coat closet breathing in the vapors from his tennis shoes when he wrote that."

Worst Album Covers

2007-01-02T05:55:00.000-06:00

Check out this collection of really bad album covers.

Marinate Your Post For 2 Months

2006-11-02T18:28:00.000-06:00

Wow! That post about the $15 bike was so good that I had to wait a couple of months to follow it up.

Here's what I look like nowadays.

$15 bike

2006-08-29T10:42:00.000-05:00

My Mom found this bike at the Goodwill for a mere $15. It was in pretty rough shape, so I took some parts off of another $10 bike that we had in the basement and fixed it up. Fixing it was actually pretty enjoyable. It still has some problems, but at least I now have another bike for friends to ride. Well, I guess I'll let any friends ride my good bike and I'll ride this thing. I'm not 100% confident that it won't fall apart when I hit a rock.

Fo-toes

2006-08-28T16:05:00.000-05:00

I've decided to take more pictures.

Rather Large Yellow Jacket Nests

2006-08-22T07:36:00.000-05:00

I want one of these for my car.

Read the article here.

Doggie

2006-08-21T09:07:00.000-05:00

The Rottweiler is one of the dog breeds I'm considering. The only problem I see with this dog is feeding the damn thing. Apparently they eat a lot.

I was walking across campus one day during my undergrad years , and there was a Rottweiler chasing a small dog around the quad. The Rottweiler clipped the side of my leg as he ran past me, and I dropped like a sack of potatoes.

I used to have an office job at Vanderbilt, and on one occasion there was a truck parked in front of our office with an enormous Rottweiler sitting in the back. I said something to my co-worker along the lines of, "Jeez, look at that thing! I wouldn't go anywhere near that dog. Look at the size of its head!" I looked up again a few minutes later and The Miracle Hen was out there petting the dog. The dog was slobbering all over the place and looked as happy as it could be.

There's something appealing about a dog that is sweet and friendly but looks like it could eat you.

I'm also considering a Doberman. I had a neighbor when I was a kid that bought a Doberman and had it trained to be an evil attack dog. He named it Damien and bought it a collar with spikes on it. The dog was the most agile dog I've ever seen. We watched it do some amazing jumps and it could outrun bolts of lightening. Anyway, this foul neighbor of mine wanted the dog to be a viscous attack dog that could eat his enemies. He was a drug dealer and made low budget pornos, so I guess vicious attack dogs come in handy in that line of work. For some reason though, the dog's training didn't take. It was one of the sweetest dogs I've ever met. I remember one day he had the dog running all over the place and doing jumps to impress us, and then he told the dog to sic a squirrel. The dog had no interest. It just went over to the tree where the squirrel had been, looked around kind of bored, and then came over and licked my hand. My neighbor was very disappointed. I don't know how drug dealing porn stars deal with disappointment, but I'm sure I wouldn't want to watch it.

People sometimes don't believe me when I tell them that I grew up next to a drug dealing porn star, but it's true. It was actually his parents house and he used to come by with a different blond bimbo each week. He never bragged about his pornos but one time he made it into an above ground swimming pool commercial and you would have thought that he was starring in a film with Marlon Brando or something. He told everybody about the commercial. We used to see it on TV and feel like we too had made it to the big time.

The porn star neighbor had a room at his parent's house that he had covered with mirrors. His Mom went nuts a few years ago and would go up into that room and see herself reflected infinitely in every direction. She complained to my Mom that there were a bunch of people living in the top of her house, but she was just seeing copies of herself.

Umove

2006-08-20T12:02:00.000-05:00

Awesome August

2006-08-20T09:48:00.000-05:00

We went for a nice little drive along the river yesterday on our way to the grocery store. I thought it would be nice to take the scenic route. As we turned away from the river and began to head north, my car decided to die. I pulled off into a little gravel area and tried to restart it, but it made this funny noise and wouldn't kick back into life. It sounded kind of bad, and I began to worry that my $1100 car might have reached the end of its days. We didn't have a cell phone with us, so we started walking to the nearest pay phone. Within about two minutes it started raining on us. Luckily, our path led us through the hood, so we were treated to various kinds of music being blasted from the houses we passed. This particular area has drainage problems and was flooded pretty badly during the last hurricane. There wasn't any flooding yesterday, but the drainage ditches were full of some kind of foul smelling concoction. We made it to a grocery store and called AAA. Everyone else that stopped at the little grocery store seemed to be buying nothing but 40s. Maybe that's why everyone was staring at us.

So we walked back to my car and AAA came within a few minutes. I hope it doesn't sound like I'm complaining, but I'll be glad when August is over. This has been an eventful month, but I haven't enjoyed the events that much. I guess it's better than last August when that little hurricane that came through here.

me incomprehensible

2006-08-18T07:07:00.000-05:00

I have a big problem. Apparently, whenever I ask a question I phrase it in such a way that the person I'm asking thinks I mean something else entirely. The other day I was talking to a small group of people and I asked, "How long does it take to get from A to B?" One of the ladies I was talking to proceeded to tell me how to get from A to B, so I restated my question, "And how long is the drive?" So the lady calls another person into the room and asks her to explain the directions to me. I said, "Oh, I know how to get there, but how long does it take?" So this new person begins to explain the directions to me. I'm starting to wonder if I fail to pronounce certain words when I speak. I hear the complete sentence, but maybe others only hear "How...take?"

This happens to me so often that I'm certain that I must be the one at fault. In another example, I went to a job interview not so long ago and I asked the person interviewing me how much the job would pay. He then went into a long discussion about how rumors of his school were exaggerated and how academics were improving. I restated my question, although this never helps, and tried to emphasize that I was talking about money. He then started telling me about his personal history, where he was from, his marital status, etc. I had to ask a third time before he understood what I was talking about.

Sometimes I think the person I'm talking to may just be stupid. I once asked one of the campus security guys at my former university about open parking after 4:00pm. I said, "Am I allowed to park on campus after 4:00pm without a parking decal?" He said, "You have to have a parking decal no matter what." So I said, "I was told that I could park on campus without a decal after 4pm." He shook his head in disagreement. So I said, "Can I park in the faculty parking area after 4pm even though I don't have a parking decal?" He said, "Yes, you can park anywhere you want after 4pm and you don't have to have a parking decal." I wanted to smash his face in but he was big and had a gun. Plus I was sure that my screaming and yelling while beating him would be misunderstood by anyone within earshot.

I guess I need speech therapy. It's odd that I never had this problem while speaking German.

zipcode

2006-08-17T14:37:00.000-05:00

I went to my local post office today with a package that I wanted to mail. I had forgotten the address for the package, but I thought I would just go ahead and figure out how much it was going to cost. I was kind of surprised that the postal employee who was helping me had no way of looking up an address for me, but I was really shocked when she told me that she couldn't even look up a zip code. This is further proof of the fact that my expectations of the way the world should work are completely unrealistic. I mean, why should a postal employee concern herself with things like zip codes? That must be handled by another department.

dog

2006-08-17T09:49:00.000-05:00

I really want to get a dog. I've wanted one for years, and I intend to get one as soon as I am stable and can afford it (approximately 15 years from now.) I've been researching breeds and I definitely want a biter, but I'm very specific about what kind of biter I want. Most of the "biter" breeds bite strangers or their owners. I certainly don't want to be bitten, and I would get no pleasure out of watching my dog bite a complete stranger. What I want is a breed that only bites my friends. I know this can be accomplished through training, but I want a dog that does it instinctively. Once it realizes you are a friend of mine, it should bite you in the most uncomfortable spot it can find.

I once drew a comic about how I would someday defeat all of my friends in hand-to-hand combat, but I never posted it. I didn't want to give any advance notice. As far as the dog biting is concerned, I enjoy giving you advance notice.

I equal two

2006-08-16T13:36:00.000-05:00

When I decided to go into teaching, I pretty much gave up on ever making any real money and I was ok with that. Now that I'm heading in a different direction, I'm starting to think that maybe it would be nice to get a job that either pays well, or has the potential to lead to something that pays well. Maybe a year from now I'll go into the grocery store and buy a block of cheese without worrying about whether I can afford it.

I've also decided to measure my self-worth in things other than career, academic achievement, etc. From now on, I'm only going to measure myself by the number of consecutive pull ups that I can do. As of today, my current value is two. I weigh close to 200 lbs so two pull ups isn't a bad start.

Screwed

2006-08-15T14:56:00.000-05:00

I spoke to my principal about 2 and half weeks before school started, and he asked me to come back to Baton Rouge early to help with some computer stuff. I told him that I couldn't come early because of my summer job but that I would be down at the originally scheduled time. He said that was ok, so I gave my two weeks notice at my summer job, and we headed down here around August 4th, and I reported to work on the following Monday.

The principal seemed happy to see me and the secretary bowed in the "I'm not worthy" style, so I felt like I was pretty welcome. About 3 hours into our teacher training session, the principal came up to me and told me to come to his office during the break and that it was "no big deal." I went to his office during lunch and was informed that I might not have a job this year but not to panic. He said there was some issue with my college credit hours and getting me a provisional license. He has known my situation all along, and I assumed that he had worked all of this out when he had me sign a contract at the end of the previous semester. So, I went to lunch and proceeded to panic. I had just quit a decent job in NC and driven 15 hours down here only to be told that I might not have a job afterall. I went back to the principal's office after eating about half my lunch and was informed that I did not have a job. He gave me a couple of reasons, one of which was that I should have worked on my Master's degree during the summer. It was convenient for him to mention this at the end of the summer, but decidedly inconvenient for me. He knew that I was going to NC for the summer and that I wasn't going to be taking classes, so I have no idea what his real reason was. I think the problem did have something to do with the fact that they were trying to get me to teach a bunch of computer classes that I really wasn't qualified to teach. I had told them, for example, that I wasn't qualified to teach computer programming, but that didn't stop the school from signing me up to teach it. As far as my Master's is concerned, I was on track with it. I had a 4.0 and the idea that it was taking me too long was complete bullshit.

Anyway, I was shocked and stunned by all of this. I was put in a really bad position and came very close to going back to NC. I've had a lot of grief in Louisiana as far as employment is concerned.

So, we had a bit of a crisis and then another teaching job came up. It was in a town about an hour and 10 minutes from here, but I decided to give it a shot. I went for my first day and it was just too much for me. The kids were nice but they are very poor, the school is very poor, and I've had too much crap in my life lately to take on all of these kids' problems. Sounds bad I guess, but everyone has their limits. Plus, driving for two hours and 20 minutes every day with gas prices like they are is just too much of a strain.

I think teaching is a fine profession, but I don't know if it has to be the hell that it is. I rarely meet a teacher that is happy in their job, and I can understand why. Dealing with other people's kids is pretty darn miserable. You see these kids out in public and you see their parents, would you want to be responsible for them?

So I'm heading back to NC. The Miracle Hen is going to stay here at least for this semester. I don't know what's going to happen to me, but I'm glad to be getting out of Louisiana. I've had some good times here, but I've also had a lot of misery. I stuck it out through Katrina and some pretty rough periods of unemployment, so I don't think anyone can question my ability to perservere. I've just had enough.

I think I'm going to buy a dog. I need a buddy.

Devil ain't so scary

2006-05-30T08:37:00.000-05:00

I was flipping through the channels this morning when I saw the trailer for this gem. What I find most interesting is the expression on the actors' faces. Imagine you're the devil. You appear in front of these people and this is the way they look at you. Wouldn't you be kind of disappointed?

At the beach

2006-05-29T06:53:00.000-05:00

We are staying with The Miracle Hen's family at a rented house on Sunset Beach. The house we were supposed to get had a problem with the air conditioning, so we were forced to go to an even bigger, more luxurious house instead.

I wish more things in life worked that way. The air conditioning in my car has never worked, but nobody has ever offered to put me in a Porsche to make up for it.

Zebra and Giraffe

2006-05-24T22:47:00.000-05:00

These guys don't like each other.

Giraffe Penguin

2006-05-24T14:37:00.000-05:00

I'm just not happy with this picture. I couldn't figure out how to make the ground look like it was covered in shag carpet. I guess I'll just have to live with my Giraffe Penguin walking around in a desolate landscape. Once I get the carpet in there, this sucker is really going to take off.

Penguin

2006-05-24T07:14:00.000-05:00

I made my first 3D penguin this morning. I wouldn't have been able to make it without explicit instructions, but I'm only just getting started with this whole 3D thing. Soon, I'll be making cheesy 3D pictures of my name floating above molten lava.

check this out

2006-05-23T22:54:00.000-05:00

This is pretty crazy. Click on the image and you can zoom in to discover that the image is made up of tiny photos. Each of the tiny photos is made up of more photos. It goes on and on. Found on Boing Boing

Sign of the times

2006-05-22T18:40:00.000-05:00

Back in the good ol' days, students would give their teachers apples or leprosy, or something along those lines. Today, one of my students gave me 256MB of RAM for my laptop.

Crawfish Boil #3

2006-05-21T11:45:00.000-05:00

We went to our third crawfish boil yesterday. Standing around a table with friends eating food without plates is turning into one of my favorite activities. I would like to eat more meals this way, but I'm not sure how well it would work with grits.

Obligatory shot of boiling crawfish with person adding hot sauce.

Location is everything.

Imagine grits served this way. I think it could work.

Why I don't let the Pepsi man play

2006-05-17T20:49:00.000-05:00

My students were playing basketball in the gym today, and the guy that puts the Pepsi in the soda vending machine came over and asked me if he could shoot some hoops with my students. I said no and told him that there were some liability issues if he should happen to bump into one of the students the wrong way and they got hurt. I said it to him as nicely as I could, but I couldn't help thinking that the guy was a moron. If you were making a delivery to a high school, would you even think about asking if you could play with the kids? I guess I'm a real stiff or something, because this would never even occur to me. I would assume that I would be arrested or something just for asking.

Breakout

2006-05-09T21:09:00.000-05:00

I try to study, but my computer sometimes forces me to play Breakout for extended periods of time. Computers are kind of evil in that respect.

Hand models make millions. There's no money in feet anymore.

2006-05-07T21:12:00.000-05:00

Dreadbiscuit may give you the hands you've always dreamed of.

2006-05-04T22:27:00.000-05:00

not really big guy

2006-05-03T18:16:00.000-05:00

I was using the self checkout at the grocery store today, and this employee comes up, takes my receipt from the printer, hands it to me, and says "Have a nice day big guy." I've been called "big guy" maybe two or three times in my life, so it kind of surprised me that he called me that. I then took more notice of this person and realized that he was extremely small. He was a really tiny little fella. I guess he calls everybody "big guy." I wonder if calls ladies "big gal."

Small business

2006-04-19T15:02:00.000-05:00

I try to support small businesses, but it can be tough sometimes. I needed a new part for my laptop, and so I went to the only two places in town that sell parts for Apple computers. One was a big retailer, and they didn't have the part or care about getting it for me. The second place was a small, privately owned computer shop. The guy had the part that I needed, but he wanted $129 for it. I thanked him for his time, and then I went home and ordered the part online for $42.

It seems like the guy at the local computer shop would have checked online himself, and then offered to order the part for me for $60 or something. Maybe I should order another one online for $42 and offer to sell it to local shop owner for $100.

Lake Fausse Pointe

2006-04-15T08:47:00.000-05:00

So, we visited Lake Fausse Pointe State Park yesterday. It's located in the beautiful Atchafalaya Basin, the largest swamp in the country. The area is really beautiful if you can appreciate the swamp asthetic. I really like it myself, and I'm looking forward to exploring more of the Atchafalaya. We really need to get a boat.

We took some pictures of our little adventure.

Q: Hey Dreadbiscuit, what happened to your ass? A: An alligator happened to my ass

2006-04-14T08:58:00.000-05:00

We are heading out to Lake Fausse Pointe State Park. I was just reading about it, and I found the following interesting piece of information: "The trails can be slippery after it has rained, and if you are hiking with children keep them close by, alligators freely roam every inch of the park." I like the idea of hiking on a slippery trail, every inch of which is covered by alligators.

I'm also comforted by this little piece of information: "Alligators may appear to be docile and slow, but then can lunge short distances at incredible speed."

I've also heard that they can appear friendly and conversational, but then can suddenly become cantankerous and closemouthed.

Good plans and bad implementation

2006-04-12T21:52:00.000-05:00

When I originally conceived the idea of Dreadbiscuit, this is what I had in mind.

I'm not sure what happened along the way, but I feel like I fell horribly short of my mark.

Find out what people are saying about Dreadbiscuit

2006-04-10T22:36:00.000-05:00

"I asked for condiments and got none."

"I've been using dreadbiscuit to treat my symptoms and have had little success."

"Peanut butter is interesting looking. I spelled the word 'culpable' once with peanut butter, but then I tried to make a PB&J sandwich, and I discovered that I was out of peanut butter. Screw you Dreadbiscuit!!"

Houston

2006-04-09T19:01:00.000-05:00

We went to Houston this weekend so that The Miracle Hen could present at a graduate conference. Her presentation went really well.

Houston was nice. We ate some great Tex-Mex, hung out with some friends, and played some Petanque. I'm really enjoying the Petanque matches. Our friends found a great place on the Rice campus to play. It was the first time I played on a surface other than grass, and the fountain in the background was a nice touch.

On the way back we stopped at the Texas/Louisiana border and went for a short walk. The Miracle Hen is the kind of girl that will drink a cup of coffee with you in a swamp. I like that about her.

Ubuntu Pismo

2006-04-06T21:32:00.001-05:00

I don't have it in me to turn into some sort of Linux geek, but I do really like Ubunto so far. I installed it on my Apple laptop, and it works great. The touchpad is a little funky, but it can be adjusted.

Society has conditioned me to type stupid blog posts

2006-04-06T16:32:00.000-05:00

I was in my university's library a few minutes ago, and there was this guy standing in front of the second floor elevator talking to his buddy. The stairs are beside the elevator, and the guy was looking at the stairs when he said, "Man, I'm too lazy to use the stairs to go down one floor. Society has conditioned me to be lazy."

As a member of society, I guess I'm partly to blame. I feel like I have a lot of responsibilities lately, and this is just one more thing I have to add to the pile.

Dumpster treasures

2006-04-02T11:13:00.000-05:00

Louisiana's best and brightest trash explorers are now visiting the dumpster outside our building on a regular basis. This morning a gentleman and two ladies, who looked like they have been smoking since age two, drove up in a truck and looked through our dumpster. They didn't seem to find anything, so I guess the large group of Hispanics that were here yesterday got all of the good stuff. I guess I'm selfish, but I just don't like the idea of someone rooting through our garbage on a regular basis. We like to make photocopies of all of our personal documents and throw them out in the dumpster, but that isn't what concerns me. What bothers me is that the dumpster also happens to be a hangout for a really nice raccoon, and I'm afraid these people might spot him and try to catch him for dinner.

I bet the number of roving bands of dumpster archeologists will increase as the semester comes to a close. The poor bastards will have to compete with me though, because I have a great view of the dumpster from my desk, and I'm keeping an eye out for anything useful that the rich college kids might throw away. Some of these kids around here are the type that would buy new furniture every year, and I could really use a bookcase.

Old computer made useful again

2006-04-01T12:17:00.000-06:00

It turns out that Ubuntu Linux works great on my old Blue & White G3. I can finally use Firefox on my old Mac.

Pavement and words

2006-03-28T17:20:00.000-06:00

I haven't written a paper of any length in a long time. The one I'm writing now is going to be between 15 and 20 pages, which I guess really isn't a big deal. What I'm finding out is that the physical act of writing 15 pages of text takes a bit of time. I type pretty fast, but it takes a while to produce that many pages even if they are flying out of me. Wow, I bet it took L. Ron Hubbard a long time to write all of those terrible science fiction books of his. I tried to read one of those Mission Earth books when I was about 13 or 14 and it bored me to tears.

In related news, we received a bizarre Scientology magazine in the mail today. I'm going to put it in the bathroom with the magazine I have about paving. The paving magazine is great. I was really excited when it showed up in our mailbox. I guess the guy that lived here before us was really into paving. The magazine has all these sexy pictures of asphalt production facilities and roads that are extremely well paved. I've never been driving along and gotten excited by the quality of the paving job, but this magazine is turning me into an enthusiast. Maybe the Scientology magazine will make me enthusiastic about turning into a psycho follower of the religious writings of bad science fiction authors.

Dumpster Drama of the Useless Apple Monitor Variety

2006-03-26T18:23:00.000-06:00

I have an old Apple computer that I use occasionally, but the monitor has been having fits for the past couple of months. It snaps and crackles, and the image randomly shrinks and expands, making it extremely difficult to use. To simulate how hard on the eyes this can be, try holding a piece of printed text about a foot in front of your face, and randomly jerk the paper out to arm's length and back again every 30 to 45 seconds.

I've been worried that the monitor was going to explode in my face and bury shards of glass into my skull. Luckily, the monitor decided to stop working yesterday. It still snaps and crackles, but there's no image at all. This is actually a good thing. I have a little paper due on Thursday, and as is often the case when I have something pressing to do, I decided to embark on a really lengthy project that has nothing to do with my assignment whatsoever--I was trying to install Linux on my Mac. I wouldn't even think of doing this if I had loads of free time, but having a paper due this week is exactly the right kind of impetus I needed.

This morning I got up and hauled the monitor outside and threw it into the lovely and decorative dumpster in front of our building. About an hour later I saw two kids drag the monitor out of the dumpster and put it on a little red wagon. I went outside and told them that it didn't work at all and was probably a fire hazard. They put it back, but I'm not sure they believed me, as they walked off with slighty disappointed and distrustful expressions on their faces. About two hours later, two older guys drove up in a truck and put the monitor in the back. I noticed that the back of their truck was full of junk, and I guess they've discovered that dumpsters in areas dominated by college students are often full of useful items.

What really caught my attention was that they had a lady with them, and they made her ride in the back with all the junk. She was just sitting in the back surrounded by junk which included my useless monitor. I'm sure a couple of chivalrous guys like that will make good use of my dead monitor. They'll probably sell it to some unsuspecting soul at a flea market for $50. I'm not really worried about that, but I am a little concerned about what they intend to do with the lady that was riding in the back of their truck. Will she be sold at the fleamarket too? Also, did they find her in a dumpster? These questions will probably never be answered, but I'm going to keep an eye on the dumpster from now on. There are all kinds of interesting dramas being played out down there and surely observing these scenarios is more important than my paper.

Coffee Cup

2006-03-22T16:27:00.000-06:00

I like unusual coffee cups, so I had to get this one when I saw it recently at a thrift shop. It was cheap, and I think it's kind of strange. It isn't that Data is so strange, but rather that he doesn't really have anything to do with coffee. In fact, he is very uncoffee like. Also, there's something about his expression that doesn't jive with early morning hours or breakfast. It's the fact that he really doesn't belong on a coffee cup that makes this particular cup worth having.

Somebody needs your help

2006-03-21T16:07:00.000-06:00

I get e-mails from the local Freecycle group, which is supposed to be a place for people looking to give away stuff or seeking certain things. I guess you can give or ask for just about anything, but it has to be free. Lately, people have been sending these "seek prayer" e-mails. I got this one today, and it seemed like something that should be passed along.

I would like to ask prayers for a friend of mine. She was in the processe of leaving her boyfriend and he shot her in the back while riding on a four wheeler with a friend,then he kidnapped her and after seeing she was bleeding to death he brung her to the hospital,saying someone else had done this.

You may think I'm making fun of this person, but fourwheeler shootings/kidnappings are really getting out of hand. You should do your part to prevent fourwheeler shootings/kidnappings.

Microwave? Freezer? What's the difference?

2006-03-20T16:15:00.000-06:00

I came home today and The Miracle Hen asked me if I knew what had happened to the ice cream that we bought yesterday. We had had some last night, so I figured I had probably put it in the refrigerator by mistake. That would have been bad, but it isn't the end of the world if you are in a hurry and accidentally put a freezer item in the refrigerator. It turns out, though, that I had put it in the damn microwave. The microwave happens to be on top of the freezer, but that's still no excuse.

St. Patrick and Petanque

2006-03-19T13:13:00.000-06:00

We went to the St. Patrick's Day Parade here in Baton Rouge on Saturday. The only big difference between this parade and the Mardi Gras parades was the Irish theme and the green beads.

A police officer came over and asked the Miracle Hen what she was drinking. The cop didn't have a problem with it or anything, she just wanted to know what it was. The bottle looked kind of unusual, and I guess that is what piqued the cop's curiosity. It was just beer, by the way.

After the parade, we went back to a friend's house and played some Petanque. The Miracle Hen happens to be on the Petanque Louisianaise team.

Coach Biscuit

2006-03-06T19:05:00.000-06:00

In a really bizarre turn of events, I am now the computer science and PE teacher at a private school for children with learning disabilities. Today, I walked around the gym during second period blowing a whistle, and then I returned to the computer lab and taught a class on using Dreamweaver, followed by a class on Flash. I didn't need the whistle for either of those, and I felt powerless without it hanging around my neck.

I don't coach anything. In fact, I'm probably incapable of coaching anything, but some of the kids have started calling me coach.

I love it when I find myself doing something that I never really anticipated. If you had told me a couple of years ago that I would be involved in the scenarios that I was in today, I would have had a good laugh at it all. I don't think I will discount anything from now on.

My resume is getting harder and harder to explain.

Mardi Gras in New Roads

2006-02-28T21:31:00.000-06:00

The picture above was taken from Google Maps and it shows New Roads, LA and False River. We went there today for more Mardi Gras action. A friend of ours is from New Roads and has some really excellent connections there. She knew someone with a balcony along the parade route. Hanging out on the balcony and enjoying the view of the parade would have been enough, but these people also happened to be really cool and mighty generous with their punch and food.

Here are some pictures.

Mardi Gras Party With DJ

2006-02-27T15:55:00.000-06:00

I saw my first Mardi Gras parade on Saturday. We were lucky enough to be invited to a party at a house along the parade route in a section of Baton Rouge called Spanish Town. It rained part of the time, so it was really nice to have a porch to hang out on. It was really one of the best parties I've been to in a while. There was a great DJ, some food, drinks, nice folks to talk to, and lots and lots of beads. I was pretty impressed with the whole affair.

Here are some pictures.

I look like a doctor but all of you look like cops

2006-02-23T14:56:00.000-06:00

I observed some special education classrooms today, and one of the kids told me that I looked like a doctor. A week ago, a kid told me that I look like I have friends that are cops. If you are reading this, you most likely look like a cop. I, on the other hand, look like a doctor.

Buddy Rich vs. Animal

2006-02-22T17:55:00.001-06:00

Check out this clip from The Muppet Show in which jazz drummer Buddy Rich goes up against Animal.

Goodbye Pimpin' and Mr. Columbia!

2006-02-21T17:35:00.000-06:00

A few weeks ago I walked into a classroom, and this kid waived at me and said, "Pimpin!" He said it as though that were my name and we were old friends. I was there as a substitute teacher, and I had never met the kid before in my life. I told him I didn't like to be called that. He seemed shocked that I was put off by it. I was in another classroom recently, and this kid walked up to me and addressed me as Mr. Columbia. I asked him why he called me that and he pointed to my fleece, which happened to have the word "Columbia" stitched above the pocket, and said, "I thought that was your name." He seemed genuinely confused.

I had an interview today for a job at a private school. I'll be the permanent sub there for the rest of the school year and hopefully take on a fulltime position next fall. It seems like a really nice school and one where I will no longer be mistaken for Pimpin' or Mr. Columbia.

Top Gun Brokeback Squadron

2006-02-09T09:22:00.000-06:00

I don't know who remixed this trailer, but it's pretty funny.

A comic about Giganto-Mart

2006-02-07T16:23:00.000-06:00

Click on the image above or the link below to see the new comic.

bleep!

2006-02-06T19:39:00.000-06:00

As a substitute teacher, I have to make sure that the kids don't kill each other, set anything on fire, or run off with the desks and chairs. I've also taken it upon myself to politely ask the students not to cuss like sailors. This is like telling the ocean not to be salty, but I do it anyway. I'm not terribly strict. I let lots of stuff slide simply because my powers are so limited, but the cussing is hard to ignore. What they say and what I say outside of school is another matter. The really dangerous part of this is that I spend most of the day calling people out for cussing and it's hard to stop once I leave the school. I've almost slipped up a couple of times. One day I was walking out of the public library and I walked past this really big guy that said the F-word. I almost said, "Hey buddy, watch the language!" If I had done that, I probably would have used the F-word several times myself as he beat the hell out of me for correcting him.

New Orleans

2006-02-05T21:48:00.000-06:00

We were in New Orleans again on Saturday. There were substantially more tourists walking around this weekend than were there a month ago.

Here's a shot of Jackson Square from January 3, 2006...

...and here's a shot from February 4, 2006.

Punch Out

2006-01-27T20:47:00.000-06:00

Remember this game? I never got an offer to drive Street Hawk but I was the original main character for Mike Tyson's Punch Out until that jerk "Little Mac" came along and stole the job.

I think my defeat at the hands of Von Kaiser is what led me to study German.

Street Hawk part 2

2006-01-27T20:12:00.000-06:00

I was just thinking about how Jesse Mach got the job offer to drive Street Hawk and why in hell he accepted it. I would like to write up a fake job offer for the Streek Hawk job and send it out to cops all over the country. I'd like to see who would accept the job.

Dear Officer Smith:

The US Government has developed a motorcycle that goes really fast and blows the hell out of anything in its path. You have been specially selected to ride this experimental bomb on wheels. We need you to blow up drug smugglers, purse snatchers, and people that look suspicious. Terrorists are also up for grabs. You have to wear a black suit and helmet while riding Street Hawk and you can't tell anyone about it. Please sign this letter and send it back to the US Government.

Thanks,
Street Hawk Division

Street Hawk

2006-01-26T22:10:00.000-06:00

This is awesome. It's the opening sequence for Street Hawk, a really bad show from the 80's about a cop with a super-duper advanced motorcycle that could go really fast and blow stuff up. I love the fact that the main character, Jesse Mach, was specially recruited by the government to ride this stupid motorcycle. I can't believe I watched this as a kid, but I did. The brain damaged caused by watching too many hours of Street Hawk must be pretty extensive.

Genre: Action

Eat A Splash

2006-01-25T20:19:00.000-06:00

The epic eating and splashing contest. Excerpts from the 2006 competition.

Buddy

2006-01-25T17:57:00.000-06:00

I really enjoyed this documentary. I think part of what made it so great was that it was completely devoid of long speeches by music journalists. I prefer to hear stories from people who grew up with the artist or who were influenced by him. That's just my preference.

Flipbook

2006-01-24T22:11:00.000-06:00

Flipbook is pretty cool. You can draw simple animations online and save them for others to view. It also lets you export your animation as a PDF that can be used to make a real flipbook. My first little animation isn't great, but Flipbook itself is worth checking out.

Sympathy for the UPS man

2006-01-23T16:58:00.000-06:00

I once knew a guy that worked for UPS. He made a lot of money, but he had a truly horrible schedule. The schedule was so horrible that I can't even post it here on this blog. I thought about him yesterday when I overheard a kid talking about how his daddy beat the hell out of the UPS man and stole his shoes. Next time you see an infomercial for a particularly bad product, imagine having to deliver that product to this kid's dad.

A shameless attempt to draw web traffic through the use of sexy pictures

2006-01-19T22:08:00.000-06:00

A year or so ago, I bought a copy of 'Salem's Lot at a Goodwill in Nashville for about $0.50. I generally avoid movie editions of novels, but this particular one from 1976 had an irresistible "8 pages of blood-chilling photos" from the CBS mini-series. What really sold me was the picture above. It's a picture of the vampire, so I guess the things coming out of his mouth are teeth. They kind of remind me of the bananas in Runts, which in themselves are quite blood-chilling.

Click on the picture if you want a larger view. It's worth it.

Ronald McXXX

2006-01-15T17:17:00.000-06:00

Last night we drove to New Roads to visit some friends and hear some music. On the way over, we passed a McDonalds that has an adult video store right next to it. They almost share the same parking lot. The video store is simply called "Adult Video" and the sign is big and red and it was glowing fiery hot last night.

I'm surprised that McDonalds stands for it, but apparently the two stores have coexisted for a long time. I hope they film their next commercial at this particular location. The McDonalds commercials are so bizarre that the inclusion of an Adult Video store in the background could only tame things down a bit.

Some nice Dreadbiscuit holiday photos

2006-01-10T09:52:00.001-06:00

I thought about explaining these pictures but then I realized that no explanation was necessary. It's all so obvious isn't it? Why would I need to explain anything?

Rollerblading The Mississippi

2006-01-08T16:38:00.000-06:00

The mighty Mississippi River is dangerously close to our house. We can bike there in about five minutes or put on our tumbleweed costumes and roll there in under an hour. A path runs along the top of the levee and a small section of this path is paved. We decided to go there today to do some rollerblading.

Heading north on the levee with the wind at my back, I thought of Mark Twain, riverboats, and the great history of the river. Heading back south with the wind blasting me in the face, I thought about how frigging hard it is to rollerblade against the wind and my mind turned to evil things like that damn song by Bob Seger.

Speaking of songs, The Talking Heads mentioned the Mississippi in their song "Cities." Here are the lyrics:

Did I forget to mention, to mention Memphis
Home of Elvis and the ancient greeks
Do I smell? I smell home cooking
It's only the river, it's only the river.

Happy Girl With Sword

2006-01-08T09:52:00.000-06:00

The world needs more pictures of people with swords having a good time.

Wesley

2006-01-08T09:47:00.000-06:00

Yesterday, I overhead a guy talking about some movie and he said, "It has Wesley Snipes in it, and it's set in the future, so it should be pretty good."

New Orleans

2006-01-05T14:08:00.000-06:00

The Miracle Hen and I went to New Orleans on Tuesday. We walked around the French Quarter a bit and drove through the Garden District. Both of these areas looked just fine, if a bit deserted. It was strange being in New Orleans without the crowds of tourists. I know this is bad for the city, but I kind of enjoyed seeing it without all of the mobs of people.

After seeing the city first hand, I feel certain that it will fill up with people eventually. There's no way those beautiful buildings will be left empty forever. If the original owners don't come back, I'm sure somebody with money will buy it all up and do something with it. Let's just hope New Orleans returns to its former glory and doesn't end up as the home of the Super Wal-Mart Quarter and the McDonalds District.

I've spoken to a lot of people about New Orleans, and I've been shocked at how many people are willing to give up on it entirely. Our country isn't exactly overflowing with places filled with history and culture, and we can hardly afford to throw away what little we do have. Somebody should warn the Statue of Liberty and let her know that her future depends on her economic viability.

Here are a few pictures.

Bob

2006-01-04T15:00:00.000-06:00

If you have any interest in Bob Dylan whatsoever, you might enjoy Chronicles: Volume One. I just finished it yesterday, and I thought it was great.

If Dylan isn't your thing, then maybe you are the type of person who would like this. If that's the case, well, I hope things work out for you.

The Vanderbilts, Napoleon, and My Mom

2006-01-03T19:34:00.000-06:00

We visited the Biltmore House while in North Carolina. It really is impressive and bizarre at the same time. I think you would have to grow up extremely wealthy in order to feel comfortable living in a place like that.

One thing in the house that really made an impression on me was the chess set that once belonged to Napoleon. A regular chess set made out of gold or something just wasn't good enough, I guess.

The other item of interest was a ceramic space heater they had in one of the rooms. It's the exact same one that my Mom has. Now I realize that this heater was purchased within the past year or so and was picked out by one of the staff, but it still made me feel like I had a deep connection with the Vanderbilts. I want to visit the homes of the wealthy and powerful and see if they have any of the same possessions as my Mom or maybe even me. I wouldn't be surprised if Bill Gates and I use the same kind of toilet brush.

The warm days of January

2006-01-03T08:24:00.000-06:00

We arrived back in Baton Rouge yesterday after spending our holidays in North Carolina. It was beautiful in NC but a little bit chilly. When our plane landed in Baton Rouge, the temperature here was 76°.

So, winter was nice while it lasted. I hope you enjoy the rest of your winter.

Death by Mattress

2005-12-27T16:36:00.000-06:00

I was riding along in a big banged-up Ford Explorer yesterday with four other guys. We ended up talking about motorcycle accidents and each of us shared some grisly story involving gruesome deaths or stories about disaster narrowly averted. I told a story about how I was riding on the back of a friend's Moto Guzzi several years ago--we were on the interstate heading to a Chinese restaurant in Asheville--when a large foam mattress flew off a truck directly in front of us and whizzed by within a few feet of our ride. It would have been the end of me if the mattress had hit us, I'm sure. After we finished telling our stories, I thought for a moment and then said, "I still would love to get a motorcycle." The other two guys in the back seat nodded and agreed.

It's kind of disturbing that these stories didn't decrease my desire to own a motorcycle. I just hope that if I ever do meet my maker as the result of a collision with some kind of queen-sized foamy object, that I'll at least be alone when I do it. I'm not afraid of dying like a moron, but I don't want any other poor schmuck to go out with me.

Blow it up

2005-12-18T22:13:00.000-06:00

I wish all of our problems could be blown away with dynamite, but sadly, it doesn't always work.

Cold Chips

2005-12-09T20:49:00.000-06:00

Someone at work put a Pringles canister and a can of tuna in the refrigerator. I wonder what they refrigerate at home. Are they upset that grocery stores don't refrigerate canned goods and chips?

I don't know who this person is, but I would like to find out. Maybe I can draw them out by putting a bag of Fritos and a can of beans in the refrigerator with a note that says, "I feel the same way. Let's talk."

Turkey Soup

2005-11-29T23:13:00.000-06:00

After eating turkey for five days, I decided to make a soup out of the
remains. Now I have a gallon of turkey soup in my freezer. I've eaten
so much turkey that I'm starting to feel like a turkey. These feelings
inspired this comic.